a day with my coyotes<3

and this is my bestfriend...

Life.

Sometimes the world is just so much to take in, if i think too much, I just start hating everyone and everything. For instance; the boy I'm talking to... Nicest kid in the world! Yes, he's been involved in drug usage and encounters of the sexual kind, but who's to say he still cant be good? It's just rough. He's awkward and it's not like I'm the most social in the bunch... They say if you really love someone you work through the hard times, but, well, I just met him and all and he's a great guy but it's just going to be a lot of work to get through this. It's about time I had a long-time boyfriend, though. Because of all the trouble I got into with my parents regarding boys it might help to, I dunno, ease them. And love is always a good thing. It's just, he's been in trouble and I've been in trouble, I sorta just want someone right now that I don't have to rush things with. Someone who will hold my hand and watch the sun set, or something lame like that.  It was totally awesome when we got a little frisky in the woods, but I just feel like I need to tell him that I wanna take it slow. I've never wanted it slow before. UGG WTF.

Why do people hate me when I have nothing they would ever want? #theblues

Friday, Bitches

ITS FREIDAEY
FRY DAY
and it could have been a better one, i guess.
I need to keep up with my blog, my oh my.
I'm losing touch:(
and my twitter is also sucking ass too.
You see, what I'm trying hard to do is not to make people think I'm a bad kid, but I dont wanna look completely lame either. I would LOVE sharing my full life to everyone, but I've been taking too many similar risks so I think it's time to tone it down.
I guess I can let it all out here though.
OH BABY
I'm talking to the most adorable guy in the world, Mason. And if it couldn't get any better than that, he actually likes me for who I am.  I know I'm suppost to slow it down in guy world but.... If I found a guy that really likes me and I waited 2-3 weeks before doing ANYtHiNg sexual, I dont see why I can't now.
Sooo yea, we took it to the woods.
But really, nothing happened. lol
anywho, I met his mom.
She seems nice.
The only thing I'm worried about is like, it feels like I'm dating this kid. But, I'm not. Like, we arn't offic or anything.  I don't mind, it's just strange because we're pretty much dating. I'm just gonna wait and see if he brings it up, or maybe I'll manage to squeeze it in here or there.
Whew, I've been off the pot for too long, my brain is starting to get like, super duper focused and headachey. But I've been doing this thing where I sleep like twice as much. Why? Who knows.
CEE YA
<3 Ninbean

NEW TRACKS
http://8tracks.com/ninadevine/summer-is-just-around-the-corner
check this shittttttt

About to go play some

WISH ME LUCK

#twerk

Oh yea... I like to dance.
If you wish to call thissss^^^^ dancing;)

No one is going to find out about this blog...
Oh Whell.

It's Kind Of A Funny Story

This has been the craziest day of my life.
Well not really.
But close.

At school: just a typical day
BUT THEN, BAM! A kiss from my homeboy Mason.  How can someone be so sweet. He's literally the nicest kid I know. How is someone so cute and still a boy? Like most guys, all they want is to get it in, but Mason actually cares about me. It's nice to have someone care about me.
Field hockey was a mess though.  Playing bad at field hockey is like a bad breakup.... you just give up, and it sucks ass.  Yea, okay, it might not seem so big to you, but field hockey is my LIFE. Its the one thing that my whole future is based off of, so, it's pretty damn important to me to play well.
When I got home at.... oh... let's say... 9:10, I immediately went out for a run to calm my nerves. My dad yelled at me, I called my mom and cried to her, then I cried to daddy. Then I watched a movie. So I'm good now.  But I went from being SO HIGH (not literally) to so lowwwwwwwwwww and then back to normal. One day.
That's all it takes.
It's kind of a funny story.
Lol.

OMG I <3 YOU

Oh ho ho ho

This is such a wonderful day

You catch my drift?
I'm listening to some phresh jams

This my album cover^^^
Check it out at http://8tracks.com/ninadevine/you-know-you-re-a-g#mix_set_id=37739511
P.S.
I love cute boys:)

MY NEW PLAYLIST #swag

http://8tracks.com/ninadevine/you-know-you-re-a-g#mix_set_id=37739511

Oh hai. This is me.

FML

Hello people of the internet. Well, today, I was GOING to share with you a video of me singing/ playing ukulele but I can not seem to find the cord that hooks my video camera up to my computer so... looks like thats not happening yet:/



Oh Yea, I really like kitty Sweaters.... Everything doesn't have to be serious, does it? #kittyswagga

If you dig silly things like seww, check out this website: http://veryfrenchgangsters.com/
<3

And this is just the beginning...

Alright, so you don't know me. That's the point of this blog. I want to share my story, with anyone who's willing to listen. But I'm not going to spell it all out, not just yet. That's right: you are going to have to try to piece it together by yourself first. Yes you, young reader.  I'm giving you a challenge.  Just TRY to follow along, that's all I ask.
Here's the low down for today: I'm still grounded. Yes sir. Grounded more than ever. And I'm in one SHITTTTY mood.  Okay, I've been a good kid this week, after getting grounded to the extreme, I'm trying to CHANGE, and my parents are on my ass like no other.  But just because I'm not nice to them doesn't mean I'm not trying to change. I'm seeing a shrink for gods sake, and I've totally quit smoking, so, whats the problem? I guess my parents assume I'm just going to love them like that. Well today, I was all pissed and sitting and thinking and I realized something... They are the reason that I got so fucked up.  They made it seem like it was my fault and shit for doing all the bad things that I did, but every time I did one of those bad things I was thinking "ha I'm totalllly rebelling against my parents, fuck them."  I never felt loved by them. Sure, they provided for me, but I've never been close to them like other kids are with their parents.  I appreciate all they do for me, don't get me wrong, but I can't staaaaaaaaaaaaand them. Like really. I don't do "bad things" to appease myself, I do them because I get pissed at my parents and lose my respect for them, then subconsciously I feel like I need to do things that would lose their respect for me.
So now, being on lock down, I have to be the bigger person. I have to be more mature than my own parents. I have to try to get them to respect for me when I have 0 respect for them. I have 0 trust in them. They creep on me, they spy on me, they take my phone, they take away my happiness. If I respected my parents wishes, do you think I would go out and smoke pot? Hell no. I would not.  They are hurting me then telling me it's my fault. Uh HELLO, the people who give me a reason to live are my brother, and my friends.  My parents make me want to NOT LIVE. There's really nothing they can do  about it either, like, they just don't know me. Even though they've been invading my privacy, they still don't know ME. They literally cant buy me gifts for xmas because they just don't know me at all. I want to move out ASAP.
My views are always the least important. My parents met each other in high school, they had love at my age, they had each other. My dad asks me things like "how is your shoulder" (I got a knot in it from playing field hockey) when really I don't give a fuck about how much my body hurts when I know I'm so messed up on the inside.  They need to leave me alone and let me think because, obviously (considering the novel I just wrote), I have lots to think about.  BIEEEEE

#shitpeoplesay

Just because I'm mean doesn't mean I have bad behavior, that just means that I'm pissed. Lemme cool off, please and thankyou

Gotta start somewhere #readysetgo